Are We Really Not Dancing Like We Used To?
- Christina Redondo
- 24 hours ago
- 6 min read
When’s the last time you got excited for a night out, only for it to be a dud of an evening because nobody was dancing?
If you’ve ever thought, damn, people don’t dance together like we used to, it's true - informal, communal dance, the kind that happens spontaneously in basements, backyards, and concerts, is slipping away.
Have You Also Noticed?
This notion hit me for the first time on New Year’s Eve in 2019, when I attended my first Minnesota house party. At 5 minutes to midnight, I put on a fantastic song and attempted to rally everyone into the living room so we could dance into the new year. People scoffed at me and carried on with their conversations. My friend pulled me aside, laughing, “Christina, you realize you’re trying to start a dance party in the Midwest, right?”
I was crushed. What have I done? I thought. By moving to Minneapolis, have I just signed up for a life without spontaneous dancing??
I wanted answers. So I started paying closer attention.
Over the past few years (when things opened up again after lockdown) I’ve gone to concerts, DJ sets, dance parties, etc., and I keep noticing the same thing: people aren’t really dancing on the dance floor. Bobbing their heads? Yes. A little shoulder sway? Sure. But it's undeniable - something is missing.
And every time I say fuck it and start dancing full out, people crowd around and watch. Or worse - they pull out their phones and start recording!! No, no, NO! I don't want an audience, I just want to feel alive.
Even traveling, it’s more of the same thing. People everywhere are complaining that “nobody dances anymore.” This isn’t a criticism, it’s a longing we all feel. We crave that electric feeling, the buzz of a safe crowd where everyone is lost in the moment, and it almost feels transcendent (that's because it is).
Personal experience, interviews with older folks, and deep research has given me my answer: The feeling is real. We’re not dancing the way we used to. And it’s not a Midwest thing. It’s an everyone-in-America thing.
Real Quick -
I need to define spontaneous dance. At first, it was hard to label what I’m talking about. I use “spontaneous dancing” to describe ordinary people, with or without formal training, gathering to groove and move in a carefree, unstructured way, where the goal is simply to have fun, connect, and lose themselves in the music.
I say this to distinguish it from "formal social dance" like ballroom, salsa, or line dancing, and from "conscious dance" like ecstatic dance or contact improv, which have their own dedicated spaces and communities.
Spontaneous dance is what happens at house parties, nightclubs, cookouts, concerts, festivals - - you know what I’m talking about! Where many newly recognized forms of social dance today originated, like hip hip, house, and other street styles.
So, What Changed? (A Little History)
Since the dawn of humanity, dancing was more a part of everyday life. Throughout history, many cultures use dance to tell stories and mark significant life events like births, seasons and other ceremonies, or even just shed the stress from the day.
In early America, especially through the 1800s and early 1900s, dancing wasn’t just entertainment, but a fundamental part of social life. Whether it was a barn dance, a jazz club, a sock hop, or a neighborhood block party, people came together to move, flirt, blow off steam, and feel alive. You didn’t need choreography or (much) skill, you just needed to show up.
Before we had TV, people relied on these social gatherings for human connection. Dancing was expected at birthdays, weddings, Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. Even during hard times, like the Great Depression, dance marathons and swing nights offered an escape and a way to be together. Of course the more serious dancers were training in studios and performing on stages, but dance was also a social skill - something everyone did together.
Even the early days of TV kept this spirit alive. Shows like Soul Train and American Bandstand put everyday people on screen, grooving together, teaching the viewers their moves, and celebrating their style and culture. It wasn’t about being the best, it was about sharing the energy.
So, What Changed? (The Subtle Shift)
It’s important to mention that the history of dance in America is inseparable from the history of racism. There’s so much more to say on that, and I will in a future post.
That said, things began shifting in major ways around the 1960s and 70s. As televisions became more common in homes, face-to-face social life started to decline. And along with it, we began to lose dancing as a shared social ritual.
But here’s the paradox: in some communities, social dance didn’t fade, it exploded. Remember, this was a time of massive social upheaval - the civil rights movement, the second wave of feminism, the Stonewall uprising and rise of LGBTQ+ activism, anti-war protests, and the list goes on.
In the face of systemic oppression, Black, Latinx, and queer communities turned to movement as a form of empowerment and healing. Styles like hip hop, locking, popping, breaking, house, waacking, and vogue weren’t just dance styles, they were lifelines, entire cultural movements happening on sidewalks, clubs, and underground balls. Dancing became a way to reclaim joy, culture, space, and power.
So, What Changed? (The Digital Age)
Over time, these newer street styles started showing up in studios, stages and screens. (This is another complicated topic that I'll cover in a future post). This was great for visibility, but also commercialization.
By the 2000s, representation of dance in the media had shifted dramatically. Shows like America’s Best Dance Crew, So You Think You Can Dance, and Dancing with the Stars frame dance as a competition, emphasizing perfection, technical skill, and being “the best.”
While there is absolutely nothing “bad” about competitive dance, models for spontaneous communal dance have vanished. Even the dancing we see on social media is usually either trained dancers, TikTok choreography trends, or people enjoying spontaneous dance alone in their homes as a solo self-care practice. As a result, dance is often viewed today as less of a communal activity and more of a niche interest or personal wellness ritual.
But! But! But...
If you’ve read this far, you might be thinking: Go to a nightclub! A music festival! An ecstatic dance jam! People are still dancing! And you're right, it hasn’t gone totally extinct. But! There’s a “but”.
Even where spontaneous dance still exists, it’s usually a whole thing: high ticket prices, long drives, music you don’t vibe with, events that start when you’re usually in bed, and expectations around how you’re supposed to dress, act and fit in. For many people, “going out dancing” doesn’t feel welcoming, especially if you prefer to stay sober, avoid big crowds, or aren’t interested in the nightlife scene.
And then there’s ecstatic dance. While it’s sober, starts at a reasonable hour, and an incredible space for many, it can also feel niche, overwhelming and a little serious. It’s not for everyone. It doesn’t scratch the “house party in someone’s living room” itch many of us are feeling.
Personally, even when I push past my resistance, pay the $25 cover, get dressed up, drive across town and stay out late… it still feels like “nobody’s really dancing,” - a sentiment shared by many.
No, you're not crazy, and you're not being too picky.
Okay, But Why??
What is happening here is more than a trend - it's a complex, deeply important social and cultural shift.
This isn’t just about dancing. It’s about shared culture and belonging, collective power, and how we feel safe in the world.
My next post in this series dives deeper into how our nervous systems have responded to what’s happened throughout human history, how systems of control, perfectionism, trauma, and fear have rewired us to freeze, isolate, and hold back our full expression.
Check it out here - So, Why Aren't We Dancing Anymore?
*This is Post 1 of a larger Series: The Dance We're Missing.
Posts 1-3 describe what's going on:
Are We Really Not Dancing Like We Used To? (this post)
Posts 4-5 make it personal:
Posts 6-8 explore the way forward (coming soon):
How to Make the Dance Floor Safe Again
The Formula for Collective Ecstasy
Are You Partying Enough?
